Trying to be more present

When my son was a toddler, I’d feel randomly inclined to grab my camera and take photos of him. Add in another kid, careers, the stresses of the rising costs of living, what feels like a hundred extracurricular activities, as well as personal situations, and those spontaneous moments of mindful quality time seem further and fewer between. I find I’m teaching (or maybe reteaching) myself the concept of mindfulness.

In a world with technology and gadgets geared to make life easier; somehow the simple things feel harder.

What’s preventing mindfulness?

While at one point in time, it was great to still feel connected to our friends and family after moving a country away, social media has made a bigger dent in our day to day. It feels as if society as a whole is suffering from a decreased attention span. Reels, TikTok and Netflix have affected our expectations. The digital world has reduced quality time and the quality of the quality time. Now I’m not averse to technology, I use it every day and literally right now to make this blog. I am however noticing how much of my life it can consume.

The cost of living, especially in a city like Toronto, has exponentially increased. I find my mind grappling at what the future will look like if things continue this way. Aspirations that seemed obtainable one day, now feel more out of reach than ever. It can leave us in a constate state of worry, fatigue, and numbness.

Busy lifestyles with children’s activities, family obligations, and career deadlines all contribute to not having as much time to enjoy the present. It’s hard to focus on “right now” when your mind is on “what’s next”.

How to be more present

There is no easy way to just flip a switch and become present. Mindfulness is something that requires patience. First to undo what we are conditioned to, and redirect to something that doesn’t feel as natural.

Therefore I have decided to try to make active efforts to have a better balance. Here’s some of the thing’s I’ve started to implement/working:

No screens during meal times.
Leaving my phone in another room when I am working on tasks that are time sensitive.
Trying to plan activities ahead of time.
Always incorporate outdoor time on the daily if possible.
Started a monthly-ish game night with the family.
Stretching every day, even if it’s only ten minutes.
Set app time limits and reduce overall time spent on my phone.
Take heed of random spontaneous ideas. Embrace the unexpected.

No, I don’t always live religiously by it all. There’s always an exception to the rule. This being the standard though helps create structure.

Benefits of being more present

Most importantly, I hope my kids can learn mindfulness so they can utilize the concept easier. It’s so sweet when my son or daughter reminisce on a memory. “Remember that time I held that fish, but I got scared and let go of it?” or “I remember us going that way, we rode our bikes over there!”. It’s comforting that maybe most of those core memories will be of us being fully present in a moment in time.

Being able to enjoy the little things of everyday life makes life feel easier. It’s not always about the bigger outings or the extravagant trips. The beauty of mindfulness is it’s stupid simple. It doesn’t cost money or extra brain power. It just requires a conscious effort to engage in right now. The more practice at mindfulness I have, the more being mindful comes easier.

If you’re still not sold on the hype, just remember that no one spends quality time with their loved ones and then think, “Wow, I wish I had just stared at my phone instead of doing that”. There is never regret in making memories that we will cherish a lifetime.